RANT!

When did it EVER become appropriate and acceptable to begin playing Christmas Commercials BEFORE Halloween!?!?! While I'm sure some retailers and advertisers would prefer to slip past my friction by calling them "Holiday Commercials"-- there's NO freakin' way Bing Crosby's "12 Days of Christmas" is Not a Christmas Ad; IT IS!

www.nytimes.com/2008/09/24/business/media/24adco.html?partner=rssnyt&emc=rss -

Stuart Elliot highlights the undertones of my deprecation in this article. The over-all acceptance of Early Christmas Advertising, whether it's print, online, or audio media, is telling of the Nation that is "US " [of A]....always out to make MORE money. Not just to "make money"...it's to make "MORE Money". There's a difference.

And conveniently, the marketing branches of retailers around have brain-washed us all into thinking we're saving money by ordering Christmas garb and gifts early. Honestly. I think we have finally come to a point in the evolution of the human brain where we are either Unable to read-between-the-lines and past the enticingly vague, literary advertising catch phrases like "Special" "limited" "SUPER" etc. or we're just too tripped out on caffeine, fast food, and stupid to realize how numb we are.

When I come across ads I think, "why...what makes it special?" "Just HOW limited is this product?" Because my instinct tells me, somewhere in Pennsylvania or Ohio there's a gigantic-ass warehouse with palates stacked 200 feet high and 300 yards long full of X, Y, and Z. But I guess with just over 3 million psycho-brain-washed-consumers in the country even that one warehouse isn't enough to keep us all happy. Good thing there's about 5 more in New York, and a dozen in California.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE CHRISTMAS. But early ads are like getting a vaccination where the nurse hits the bone. *believe me it's sick...I watched a guy turn 4 shades of green and purple simultaneously in 7th grade. Worst stomach ache of my life, and I only witnessed it. [Probably the worst Hepatitis A shot of his life too] Black Friday makes me feel the same way. I mean we are a country that practically has a National-Go-Spend-Money-Like-There's-No-Tomorrow-And-Feel-Free-To-Swear-Cuss-Trample-Speed-Steal-And-Endanger-Anything-In-Your-Way-Day. Haha...if there were ever a National Holiday with that many hyphens I would sure as hell take part.

Conclusion: I don't want to hear about "White Christmases" without snow falling...or wreaths with big red bows on front doors and icicle lights hanging from the eaves. And I DON'T want to hear Mariah Carey telling me all she wants for Christmas is me, when I'm still 3 weeks away from enjoying my annual-food-coma (turkey and stuffing induced...okay and pumpkin pie).