Dreaming Dangerously?

I question whether I dream too much. [if the frequency with which I dream is bad] And I find myself in somewhat of a conundrum, division of reason from rational. I often wonder if I am a Greedy Dreamer. Or if I'm just greedy in general. Thoughts in this blog, stemming from a multitude of points:
-from the Economics of the Present day
-The possible Economics of the Future
-the truths of Capitalism in the Free World (and perhaps more importantly the secrets as well)
-reflections on living in a Third World Country...

A dream that's really strangling me lately:

Someday I would love to have 2...3...restaurants. Jeeze. haha--laughing at myself..."enough said, The rest of this post is null and pointless...I'm greedy." Or 1 would be fine. I'd love it for the challenges of owning and maintaining my businesses, for the pleasure of making food for people...I'd love it for "all the right reasons" [passion for cuisine, service to others, sharing of self, and the educational opportunities I could provide people while dining in my restaurants]. Educational opportunities like buying and eating locally, sustainably....eating healthy and balanced meals... I would love it for the insatiably daunting hours and unspeakable labor required. TRULY. I WOULD. I DO ALReady. I think I could cook for 48 hours and not even blink. I bet I could cook for 3 days and not even blink... i mean...I don't sleep as it already is, so sleep deprivation wouldn't be an issue. And dammit I want to be SUCCESSFUL. As in "WOAH. Wow. Nationally renowned."

Why stop there Jackson. Who am I kidding, I would love it for the cushy amenities that come with the territory....the wine vineyard estate land that I have partial ownership of in Napa, not to mention the envious real estate in Tuscany that I afford and the house that I bought and restored on it... The trips that I take for both business and pleasure...the privileged destinations and eateries I add to my tally-list.....[this is where most of my dreams typically turn]

BUT: I see danger in pursuing such a dream. The danger of losing site of the marginalized...the danger in becoming part of the problem rather than a solution....the danger in becoming "yet another beneficiary of fame & fortune" and being so consumed in the career that got me there that I lose track of the REST that is me. *Because dear god, I hope Hope hope HOPE freakin' HOPE, that I am more than "a Chef...a Restaurateur....a business owner." I Hope that " I " am more than a Tuscan Villa. More than VIP status at French Laundry in Yountville, Napa, CA. http://www.frenchlaundry.com/
I hope that the " ME of the future" includes a drive for Activism toward justice, education, music, community, FAMILY, and WORLD. In environmental responsibility. In equal opportunity. In livable wages. In the basic necessities of LIFE.

*Inhale.

And so, I try to convince myself that I'd do something radical years down the road. Something fullfilling. Something that rids me of the guilt for the years of narrow-scoped, self-centered lifestyle it would seem I'd have led. My dream includes retirement to a third world country..maybe Namibia...maybe a different African nation...or South American or Latin American...where I would simply take the "Big Business USA Money that I'd earned/invested/obtained".....and start pumping it into their societies....building roads. and schools. hospitals. things that we take for granted....paying teachers...buying BOOKS and Educational Materials.....SHOES....Pencils....NOTEBOOKS/paper.....

It's a great dream...but a dream that scares the hell out of me. For all the right and wrong reasons. To pursue or Not to Pursue...that is the question.