The sky and stars are so clear and bright tonight...

This was a very hard and long week. Of a new fall menu with record numbers of diners, physical fatigue..............exhaustion from work. Of mental and emotional fatigue from "other"

.... my mind and emotions won't let me sleep. My mind is too persistent, and my standards unyielding....

Tonight I feel very sad. And alone and far away. I guess crying is okay..

Keri Noble live @ the Guthrie

I went to Keri Noble's debut concert of her newest album release @ the Guthrie. I haven't seen a lot of live performances; I'm not a concert junkie/ticket-obsessed show goer, but I've seen enough to say that she is a PERFORMER. Dang. Wicked vocals, singer-song-writer. Totally meant to be doing what she's doing with her life. It's that obvious once you hear and experience her music making live....

I hope people feel that way about the food I cook. Unlike performer/audience member, there's usually no visual/physical connection in the restaurant business, between the customer and the hands that sliced, diced and toiled over your food.... but I hope my food moves people the way her performances have moved me. I don't know why I like her...well I do. I'm just too hyper to explain it on here. For starters.... she's talented beyond description.

growth

I'm turning into a great chef... I probably don't tell myself this enough (for fear that I start buying into the mentality and becoming complacent in my work ethic).

But I am. Quiet pride is good at this point I think. I can do a lot. I know a lot. A lot more than I think I'm even aware of. And the best part is that I have this ridiculous "appetite" for learning and experiencing more.... half of that is just who I am; ....wow. If that's not a blaring vocational/identity statement.

examination

I've realized my greatest fear is imperfection.

Movie. Love. Living.

Our world is awful. We live in a day and age where social justice and quality of life are foreign (if not extinct) from our way of life. A world of brutal obsoletes, and cruelty.

As I reflect upon my own story, and the summation of all that I've experienced up to this point in my life, I can not help but acknowledge the loads of imperfection that is the essence of me. We are human.

But to get where I am...to have been where I've been...to own all that I own. I've been given more than my fair share of 2nd chances...of "free passes". Of Grace.

Seven Pounds..... somewhere in the heart of this movie...there's a powerful notion....and I think it could save the world.

Post KAMP 2010

okay...eff...I have a ton to process and my mind is running wild. ugh.

the internal storm is RAGING.

A Post for Paul

Yesterday I found out a very dear friend of our family, Paul, had passed away. He was a remarkable and incredibly gifted man, who lived a very fullfilled life, but had been dealing with Alzheimer's for quite some time. Anyways--my mother and I took the past day and a half to make the vacant rooms in our house (count 'em:..1..2...3), suitable for any of Paul's relatives traveling to Decorah to stay in while they are here for the next few days rather than renting hotel rooms.

Two of his grandchildren are staying with us. One is a current Luther student and her brother, a recent Seminary grad, and his wife are also staying.

I have been thinking back on all of the home stays that I've been the recipient of in my life time. Tours and trips with music ensembles, weekends crammed like sardines with my Ultimate Frisbee team mates in someone's basement or camping in a stranger's backyard for tournaments. It's quite a concept, opening up one's most personal and private space (their home) to strangers.....I think we're called to do that with our hearts as well.

Very grateful to have our guests staying with us the next few days. Very grateful for the gifts and reminders their grandfather and his wife have taught me over the course of my growing up..... shine down Paul. Shine down.